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I always advise people to date and marry within ten years in age beginning no sooner than 25 to 35. It’s more often her who leaves him for a younger man. It’s rarely him who leaves her for a younger woman. However, they do almost always hit this critical stage when the veil has dropped and reality sets in. I find that both the younger woman and the older man had good intentions going in. So, the stereotype in my mind was very wrong. Men, however, typically experience a steady decline. Women do typically gain a significantly stronger sex drive in their late 30’s to late 40’s. Honestly, I always feel sad for both of them. Meanwhile, he has no idea what went wrong. Then I hear phrases from her such as, “He tricked me”, “He’s not who I thought he was”, “He took advantage of me”, “I was too young for him.” She is bitter and resentful. He is definitely not as fun and hip as her guy friends or her friends’ same-aged husbands. Once the younger woman and her peers grow older too, she begins seeing her older husband as ordinary, maybe even as just old.
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Then the three of us meet together from there. This allows the man and the woman to speak freely and inform me of what they see as the issues in private. When I begin counseling a couple, my typical structure is to have one individual session with each member. They fall in love and get married.įlash forward to her 30’s and that first phone call I receive from him. He feels like he really is the greatest man too because she adores him. He is the greatest man she has ever dated by far.
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He is actually getting to know her and not pawing at her all the time. This man finds a woman who appreciates everything about him. Now imagine this young woman meets this older man. They are generally stoned, aimless and only looking for fun. Now, imagine you are a woman in your 20’s or even early 30’s. Every flaw you have has been shouted at you. Imagine you are a man in your 40’s or 50’s who has gone through an awful divorce.